I always take my own pillow (if going by car) and some art supplies and a headband with built in earphones so you can lie on your side comfortably, so if I can't sleep I can listen to something. It can also go over my eyes.
I love your description of unmasking being like restoring an oil painting.... Adding and taking away.
I'm inspired to get stickers now :) Just love the way you articulate your experience - it helps me reach deeper levels of understanding of my own unmasking process and the layers of choice that are available (and that it's OK not to always see them). Best description of the need for alone time ever - a vitamin you need higher doses of. Yes! Thank you.
+5000 on headphones. I have to fly for my work a few times a year so some of these are airport related. And hyper-specific because it has to be. Take what you will!
- Gate checking my bag. Having a rolling bag that carries my other bag reduces the stress on my body of my shoulder bag but also now I don’t have the anxiety of hurling it up into an overhead bin when I get on the plane. I tell neurotypical people I do it to save money but it’s literally just that.
- Just the right type of things to absorb. This involves a lightweight book (can be hardback if thin enough) in whatever my current learning fixation is (nonfiction or fiction). And an older gaming system that has games not reliant on internet access (I’m partial to a regular size Nintendo 3DS or DSi) with games that have repetitive gameplay loops. Lightweight is key because I can carry easily or not add too much to a bag, and no internet needs so I don’t find myself scrambling for WiFi.
- I never eat lunch with more than one person during the working travel days. This involves me just straight up disappearing or roping a coworker into going to a specific sandwich shop to pick up something. It was something I discovered that I could do by accident and now I can’t stay sane unless I have my midday disappearing session. I’m trying to figure out an equivalent for visiting family.
- No more hard pants (jeans particularly) on any form of long transit. I love fashion, it’s a huge interest of mine but there is no point in wearing anything that might bind wrong while handling everything else.
This is a fantastic piece that had me nodding along to every tip you suggested, especially solo time!! I would say make things as easy as possible if you can afford it. Try and minimise the travel (including thinking about where the hotel is situated). Plan routes in advance. Plan days but give wriggle room to just be and have time to yourself. Thank you for writing this 😊
My kid and I always travel with minty and sour candy (and fancy noise-cancelling headphones - worth every penny - favorite art supplies, and comfy clothes, of course). Mint mentos can be a welcome sensory distraction during a flight.
Taking alone time is the part I need most, and the part I struggle with the most. It feels so rude when visiting people, but I pay a large price for following social norms on that one. I'm working on it...
Ditto, Annie! I had the same worry--about being / seeming rude. I think maybe I'm learning to distinguish the seeming from the being? Like...can I trust that I am not a rude person, and release some of the feeling of needing to control how I'm received? Much easier to intellectualize than to enact, of course...
I LOVE the mint / sour candy suggestion!!! I'll be adding that to my list. (I love love love sour things.)
Yes, learning to trust that the people who love me, love me. If I’m direct and say what I need, it won’t be rude. Still so hard to do in practice. But slowly I’ll get there!
I don't have any neurodivergent travel tips, yet I wonder whether all of us carry the neurodivergent "gene" in various degrees?, so I loved your travel tips because (after just returning from always cacophonous Spokane where my car was stolen twice!), peace and quiet are a blessing today. Ear buds are a blessing; being alone is a blessing; hearing my cat purr is a blessing too. And because every word of yours is a beautiful prompt writing is a blessing today too!
I always take my own pillow (if going by car) and some art supplies and a headband with built in earphones so you can lie on your side comfortably, so if I can't sleep I can listen to something. It can also go over my eyes.
I love your description of unmasking being like restoring an oil painting.... Adding and taking away.
I was about to mention a bluetooth headband! I use mine for walks, too, because I need the buffer of music but can't stand having things in my ears.
Yes, it's so good isn't it!
Adding bluetooth headband to my purchase list!
I'm inspired to get stickers now :) Just love the way you articulate your experience - it helps me reach deeper levels of understanding of my own unmasking process and the layers of choice that are available (and that it's OK not to always see them). Best description of the need for alone time ever - a vitamin you need higher doses of. Yes! Thank you.
This comment makes me so happy, Morgana! Thank you for reading <3
+5000 on headphones. I have to fly for my work a few times a year so some of these are airport related. And hyper-specific because it has to be. Take what you will!
- Gate checking my bag. Having a rolling bag that carries my other bag reduces the stress on my body of my shoulder bag but also now I don’t have the anxiety of hurling it up into an overhead bin when I get on the plane. I tell neurotypical people I do it to save money but it’s literally just that.
- Just the right type of things to absorb. This involves a lightweight book (can be hardback if thin enough) in whatever my current learning fixation is (nonfiction or fiction). And an older gaming system that has games not reliant on internet access (I’m partial to a regular size Nintendo 3DS or DSi) with games that have repetitive gameplay loops. Lightweight is key because I can carry easily or not add too much to a bag, and no internet needs so I don’t find myself scrambling for WiFi.
- I never eat lunch with more than one person during the working travel days. This involves me just straight up disappearing or roping a coworker into going to a specific sandwich shop to pick up something. It was something I discovered that I could do by accident and now I can’t stay sane unless I have my midday disappearing session. I’m trying to figure out an equivalent for visiting family.
- No more hard pants (jeans particularly) on any form of long transit. I love fashion, it’s a huge interest of mine but there is no point in wearing anything that might bind wrong while handling everything else.
Brilliant, Joan. I am gleaning so much from this.
This is a fantastic piece that had me nodding along to every tip you suggested, especially solo time!! I would say make things as easy as possible if you can afford it. Try and minimise the travel (including thinking about where the hotel is situated). Plan routes in advance. Plan days but give wriggle room to just be and have time to yourself. Thank you for writing this 😊
So grateful for your readership, Ren!
I love your analogy of unmasking being like restoring an old Renaissance painting and putting back just as much as you’re taking off. Beautiful!
My kid and I always travel with minty and sour candy (and fancy noise-cancelling headphones - worth every penny - favorite art supplies, and comfy clothes, of course). Mint mentos can be a welcome sensory distraction during a flight.
Taking alone time is the part I need most, and the part I struggle with the most. It feels so rude when visiting people, but I pay a large price for following social norms on that one. I'm working on it...
Ditto, Annie! I had the same worry--about being / seeming rude. I think maybe I'm learning to distinguish the seeming from the being? Like...can I trust that I am not a rude person, and release some of the feeling of needing to control how I'm received? Much easier to intellectualize than to enact, of course...
I LOVE the mint / sour candy suggestion!!! I'll be adding that to my list. (I love love love sour things.)
Yes, learning to trust that the people who love me, love me. If I’m direct and say what I need, it won’t be rude. Still so hard to do in practice. But slowly I’ll get there!
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Sarah, as always, every sentence is a thoughtful and thought-provoking gem. <3
Thank you for writing...and wlelcome back!!
I don't have any neurodivergent travel tips, yet I wonder whether all of us carry the neurodivergent "gene" in various degrees?, so I loved your travel tips because (after just returning from always cacophonous Spokane where my car was stolen twice!), peace and quiet are a blessing today. Ear buds are a blessing; being alone is a blessing; hearing my cat purr is a blessing too. And because every word of yours is a beautiful prompt writing is a blessing today too!
Your tips are spot on and had me nodding along in agreement.
So grateful for your readership, Kathleen!