Comparison is problematic with siblings, young children who are eyeing their respective scoops of ice cream or comparing scribbles of artwork. Comparing can be positive when it comes from an ethic of celebrating diversity: cultures, certainly natural beauty. "What does this flower smell like?" The only way to find out is to experiment. To Sarah, the flower's perfume may seem sweet, to Bill, the flower is pungent, to someone else, there may be just the faintest odor. We compare our experiences; we revel in the abundance of responses.
I agree with both Sarah and Bill. Comparison is an important part of exploration, curiosity, learning. In the setting of our own feelings of self doubt and worthiness though, comparison can be a real killer of creativity. I continue to grapple with the same issue I've dealt with for years, decades, lifetimes really. Why bother? What's the point? Don't I have so many other things to do that I do 'better'? That are more 'important'? I'll never actually be good at writing or sketching or painting so why waste the tiny bit of time and energy I have available on it?
Christie, I know what you mean. My partner and I talk about this kind of thing often--doing something you love or desire to do even if/when you're "not very good at it." There's this feeling (and I do think this messaging is reinforced *out there,* in the mainstream neurotypical world) that you have to earn doing what you love by being good at it. Especially by monetizing it! That way it "counts." (That's the place I get stuck often--what counts? Does what I'm doing even count???)
A question that just popped into my head, sitting here staring at the screen (lol) and thinking about all of this: Can we earn doing what we love just by loving it? I mean, can *love* or *enthusiasm* be the thing that makes us eligible? That makes us bother?
"Comparison is a refusal of the self pretending to be an assessment of the self." Wow. This may be the crux of it. Writing for me is all about opening my attention to creative comparisons--that flash when the phrase "100-year storm event" in a dry civil engineering doc I'm proofing suddenly stands for something else--but creative comparisons are never "greater than" or "less than." Instead, they're insights into relationships. That kind of insight is very different from comparing myself to another writer or my writing to theirs to pronounce myself "less than." P.S. Now I'm geeking out and thinking it's like the difference between mathematical comparison operators and string pattern matching in a programming language...
GEEK OUT JODY! I'm glad this resonated, but I also like that you're pointing out that there *is* a generative species of comparison--more like, being in dialogue with something--that is very very different than this other kind.
If it's a less than/greater than kind of thing, that's a sign we've strayed into unhelpful territory.
Comparison is problematic with siblings, young children who are eyeing their respective scoops of ice cream or comparing scribbles of artwork. Comparing can be positive when it comes from an ethic of celebrating diversity: cultures, certainly natural beauty. "What does this flower smell like?" The only way to find out is to experiment. To Sarah, the flower's perfume may seem sweet, to Bill, the flower is pungent, to someone else, there may be just the faintest odor. We compare our experiences; we revel in the abundance of responses.
I always adore your comments, Bill, but "revel in the abundance of responses" might be one of my new favorite phrases!
I agree with both Sarah and Bill. Comparison is an important part of exploration, curiosity, learning. In the setting of our own feelings of self doubt and worthiness though, comparison can be a real killer of creativity. I continue to grapple with the same issue I've dealt with for years, decades, lifetimes really. Why bother? What's the point? Don't I have so many other things to do that I do 'better'? That are more 'important'? I'll never actually be good at writing or sketching or painting so why waste the tiny bit of time and energy I have available on it?
Christie, I know what you mean. My partner and I talk about this kind of thing often--doing something you love or desire to do even if/when you're "not very good at it." There's this feeling (and I do think this messaging is reinforced *out there,* in the mainstream neurotypical world) that you have to earn doing what you love by being good at it. Especially by monetizing it! That way it "counts." (That's the place I get stuck often--what counts? Does what I'm doing even count???)
A question that just popped into my head, sitting here staring at the screen (lol) and thinking about all of this: Can we earn doing what we love just by loving it? I mean, can *love* or *enthusiasm* be the thing that makes us eligible? That makes us bother?
Ooooh this was so good and juicy Sarah! Thanks for your honesty and wisdom.
"Comparison is a refusal of the self pretending to be an assessment of the self." Wow. This may be the crux of it. Writing for me is all about opening my attention to creative comparisons--that flash when the phrase "100-year storm event" in a dry civil engineering doc I'm proofing suddenly stands for something else--but creative comparisons are never "greater than" or "less than." Instead, they're insights into relationships. That kind of insight is very different from comparing myself to another writer or my writing to theirs to pronounce myself "less than." P.S. Now I'm geeking out and thinking it's like the difference between mathematical comparison operators and string pattern matching in a programming language...
GEEK OUT JODY! I'm glad this resonated, but I also like that you're pointing out that there *is* a generative species of comparison--more like, being in dialogue with something--that is very very different than this other kind.
If it's a less than/greater than kind of thing, that's a sign we've strayed into unhelpful territory.